Why Family?

"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan" (The Family: A Proclamation to the World).

To understand the importance of family in God's plan, we must understand God's plan.
God is our Heavenly Father. He is the Father of our spirits. He loves all of His children and wants all of His children to be happy. In order to do this, He established the beautiful Plan of Happiness. The Plan of Happiness includes all of us coming to Earth, gaining physical bodies, stretching and becoming, and returning in eternal family units.

Deep happiness comes through the family. This probably isn't obvious to most people. I know it wasn't for me. It can be difficult to see how a family generates joy. We see bickering couples, selfish parents, and fighting children everywhere. How is it that we would want a family after seeing examples such as these? Wouldn't it be better to just live life alone, free from the "burden" of a spouse and children? This is a very real question in today's world. I have struggled with this very question myself. How can I accept that families create joy and yet I see that many times family life doesn't seem happy?

One of the answers to this question can be found through looking at the ideal family. If all family members were unselfish, giving, loving, helpful, nonjudgmental, positive, kind, uplifting, hardworking, you name the perfect quality, it is very easy to see that family life would be great. Obviously, each person is imperfect and perfection in family life will never be fully achieved in this life. However, we can get close. We have been given the picture of the ideal family life and the principles needed to get there.

For any type of successful company, budgets and standards are established to track the progress of the company. I am pursuing a degree in accounting, so right now I am enveloped in the study of applying these standards (I had to throw something in here for the accountants, representing the life of the party:)). Each standard and/or budgeted amount is a goal that is high but also attainable. Our goal for family life is happiness in this life and eternal family life in the life to come. This is our goal, and it is high and attainable. Our mini goals are to be kind, loving, industrious, etc. We may sometimes fall short of these mini goals, but as we work diligently to improve ourselves and do better each day, we will obtain our ultimate goal and find joy in the journey.

But, why should we even try to establish a happy family instead of taking the seemingly easier route of living alone and trying to find happiness there? It seems like a ton of work to establish this happy, ideal family. Is it worth it? Being single, I often wonder: how could I ever deal with another person and their problems, worries, hopes, dreams, and feelings when I can hardly take care of and understand my own?? I have come to realize that it is through relationships with others that we strengthen ourselves and others. "No man is an island," a phrase coined by John Donne, has been used in many songs, movies, and books. In one context, this phrase can be applied here. I was not placed on Earth to be an "island." You were not placed on Earth to be an "island." We all affect each other and are meant to lift each other up. It is through the family that we help each other and are helped. As a family strives towards a goal, such as choosing the right and making it back to Heavenly Father, they have an inherent strength unparalleled by just one person striving towards this same end. It is easier to reach the end of the race when you are surrounded by a team struggling with you and cheering you on. 

One of the concepts that author and speaker Stephen Covey advocates is synergy. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We find something greater in family life than just the ease of not having as many problems in single life. It is in family relationships that we find the deepest and richest experiences. Therein are the greatest sorrows and the most profound joys found. I want to affirm that a family is worth it.

To all the single adults out there, I also wanted to include that just because I am saying that the family is important doesn't mean I'm saying you are a bad person. I'm single right now, but I hope for an eternal marriage someday. Speaking of those who do not have the opportunity to marry right now, Elder Richard G. Scott says, "All things are possible to the Lord, and He keeps the promises He inspires His prophets to declare. Eternity is a long time. Have faith in those promises and live to be worthy of them so that in His time the Lord can make them come true in your life. With certainty, you will receive every promised blessing for which you are worthy" ("The Eternal Blessings of Marriage"). (By the way this talk by Elder Scott is one of the most sincere and sweet talks I have ever read. Read it!)
I know that family life brings true happiness. I have seen it in the family I grew up in, and I have faith that happiness will come of my future family.